E3 2019: One Excited Prick

E3 is almost upon us, my friends! It’s the time of year when we more or less spend a few days finding out which leaks were legit and which ones were fake. That doesn’t mean the event is any less exciting, though. I’m still making my pants tight thinking about the games that I know […]

Classic Sonic Zones That Need the “Mania” Treatment

When I was a wee lad, Sonic the Hedgehog was a huge part of my life. I was a scrawny little nerd creature who loved video games, those games were just so much fun. The vibrant and varied level designs. The soundtrack and sound effects. The bosses. And who could forget the absolute rush the […]

Shortlist: Horrifyingly Good Games

I wrote this post yesterday and apparently it never actually published. I have added parenthesis to the opening to account for this. Happy (belated) Halloween, nerds! It’s the (day after the) time of year when we take immense pleasure in scaring the shit out of ourselves, so I figured I would share a list of […]

Neverending Fantasy: The Exhausting Marketing of Square Enix

Everyone is familiar with the excruciating pain one has to endure between ordering their food at a restaurant and receiving it. They’re at the point where they know something is being made for them to enjoy, but it’s not ready for consumption yet. Just a little longer. But what if you went to your favorite […]

A Prick’s Wish and Wishnot List: Halo Infinite

I know it’s been a while since my last post, and I want to express my sincere apologies to both of my readers for that. I have a confession. I like Halo 5. A lot. Now, I know that is pretty such blasphemy in the eyes of a decent chunk of Halo fans, but I […]

The Cutting Room Floor: I’m Still Pissed About Halo 2

Anyone remember when Halo 2 released way back in ’04? It received critical praise and people just loved everything about it. It had a great campaign, fantastic multiplayer, a not-at-all-infuriating ending that provided some kind of closure… Okay maybe that last one is more or less the opposite of the truth, but while a lot […]

Res-Erect: Dead Space

Welcome to the first of a series in which I talk about my personal beloved franchises that haven’t seen the light of day in quite some time. Chances are most of these series will stay that way, but that’s not stopping me from begging. In this entry, I’ll be performing this ritual in the middle […]